Going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult things you experience. Even when the ink is dry and the divorce is final, it doesn’t mean it’s done for you. 

Divorce isn’t just about the legal process of ending your marriage, dividing up assets, or establishing custody and visitation. It’s about the emotional turmoil, the feelings of failure as a wife or person, the annihilation of your self-worth, the uprooting of everything familiar and safe, the fear over the future, being alone, never being happy again, or being able to survive on your own, the regret over what you feel you or your spouse should or should not have done and even anger at yourself, your ex (or soon-to-be-ex) and maybe even someone new in his life. How do I know? I’m describing everything I felt and experienced myself.

Discovering my ex’s affair and my subsequent divorce forever changed my life. It forever changed me. In the short term, the changes weren’t pretty. I had to let go of everything familiar and head out into the great unknown, and I did not want to do either one. Dealing with grief, anger and low self worth, I even became a stranger to myself. Nothing around me or within me felt familiar.

Yes, it was difficult. Yes, it was painful. Yes, it was the end of my marriage and life as I knew it. But my story didn’t end there. 

As a result of two definitive decisions I made early on in the process, my recovery from the emotional pain and ability to begin building a new and better life happened in a relatively short amount of time. I transitioned from fear, self doubt, sadness and anger into a sense of confidence in myself and excitement for the new life I wanted to build.

What were those decisions?

One, I decided who I was going to be in relationship to what happened to me. I chose not to hurt back, trying to heal myself by causing pain to someone else. It never works. I chose to be someone I could be proud of when I looked back. I am to this day.

Two, I focused on what I wanted my life to look like when this was behind me. Rather than hating and fighting against the reality of what was, I focused on what good could come from it – more specifically, what good I could create from it.

Your divorce may be the end of a way of life as you know it, and believe me, I get that it can be scary. But the end of one thing, is the beginning of something new. Just because something is familiar to us, doesn’t mean it is good for us. New and better is waiting for you. There just may be a few things you need to let go of to make room.

Just pondering what I’ve shared might be enough to help get you pointed in a better direction. It could simply be a matter of making a few definitive decisions. I hope it is. If you feel you could benefit from some one-on-one guidance from someone who has gone through what you’ve gone through or are going through, someone who has created a life far exceeding her previous one in terms of self confidence, a fulfilling career and loving and happy relationship, I invite you to email me.  (keryl @ kerylpesce.com) Let’s set up a free discovery call to see if we are a good fit. I can’t work with everyone, nor do I want to. I want to serve those ready and willing to move their lives in a better direction. If that’s where you are, please reach out.

For the sake of transparency, you should know before we talk what my rates are. I offer two options:

Option #1 – Two, one-hour phone calls – $300 paid in full in advance.

In these two calls, you will share with me your primary challenges, get clear on what you want for yourself and decide on specific actions to take in that direction. Consider this a jump start. Clarity can be priceless.

Option #2 – Monthly coaching – $500 paid in full in advance.

You will get weekly one-hour phone calls with me plus mid-week email check ins. We will do the same as above with the added benefit of digging deeper into what is needed to create the change within and around you as well as have someone (me) hold you accountable. Often we know what we need to do, but the difficulty lies in getting ourselves to do it. I can help. Monthly coaching renews automatically each month for as long as you choose. After the first full month, you can cancel anytime.

Whether we work together or not, I send you love and wishes for a speedy recovery and exciting new you and life.

 

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